If you’ve followed me on Instagram, you may have heard me talk about a person’s model of the world. You may have also heard me say that the way you perceive one thing is the way you perceive all things.

What does that mean? I’ll give you an example (note: name is omitted but the story is shared with permission).

I was working with a client who was often bullied as a child because of her height and intelligence. She always seemed to be two feet smaller than everyone else, and always looked five years younger than she really was.

But she was smart. Like whoa-smart.

She was so smart that she was put into her school’s gifted program where she finally met other students like her; unfortunately, there were some kids she didn’t feel she would ever compare to. She felt that these students were not only smarter than her, but that they were prettier and more athletic. They played tennis; were on the swim team, etc.

I’m sure you can picture them.

These students took it upon themselves to bully her, too.

Or so she said.

Fast forward to college. Same issue. Her intelligence dwarfed most of the student body, but there was always someone even better. When it came time to graduate and pursue a high earning career, she didn’t know where to begin. The alpha students knew exactly which cities they should go and which companies to target. She didn’t, and she felt lost and insignificant compared to the ‘real’ earth shakers.

Her peers looked at her confused, wondering what she was doing with her life. What was she waiting for? Why wasn’t she running like them?

To make matters worse, her father was brilliant, too. Far more brilliant than anyone else she had ever met. He was always working on cutting edge tech; always talking to the best of minds; always flying to some new company; always globetrotting; always orchestrating the next big thing.

She never felt she would compare to his level of brilliance.

Ever.

However, in her mid-twenties she found herself organizing events like he did and giving speeches in various countries. She finally felt accomplished.

One day someone smarter than her showed up at one of her talks and spotted an error she had made. This man pointed it out, belittled her in front of her peers, and made the rest of her talk irrelevant.

In the grand scheme of things, her error was a tiny one, but her shame made her quit her job and sent her into hiding.

Her model of the world?

What was the world like from her point of view?

She was small compared to the giants; she was good, but she wasn’t good enough; she needed to be better and to work harder, but she would never compare or be important.

There’s a hierarchy to the world. Only those at the top matter.

What did we work on?

She was never abused by her parents; she was never assaulted in any way by anyone; so I asked her to go to moments in her life where she felt small and insignificant (which I’m sure you picked up on).

The first and biggest memory that floated to the surface was of being left alone in an office with a TV for three hours while her father gave a lecture during the week at a random company. Her mom was a working doctor, grandparents had no interest, and her long-term babysitter (whom she had loved) had quit the week before. Her dad had had no choice but to take her with him that day.

“What did this memory lead you to believe that day?” I asked.

“That I wasn’t important,” she said without thinking. “That I wasn’t needed or wanted.” Her eyes immediately lit up and everything started making sense.

Yes, one memory can set the tone for your entire identity and belief structure.

We collapsed that memory and rewrote it; we also collapsed and rewrote her work trauma and bullying experiences.

She’s since stopped comparing herself to other people in the room and is now back to feeling confident.

Did she see it?

No. She came to me for low confidence and wanted to work on her recent work trauma, which we did. All of the other stuff I had to pull out of her.

It’s rare that people are able to see their model of the world. People know what events they wish they could erase, but it’s rare that they are able to perceive a running theme. There’s always a running theme. I repeat: There’s always a running theme.

Do you have to work on EVERY memory related to your issue?

This is one of the best, and maybe one of the most interesting things about memory reconsolidation:

No, you don’t have to work on every memory related to your issue, but you definitely want to go to the primary imprint.

Remember, when you are not feeling good about yourself, you are in a negative trance. Your memories are what created the trance and belief system, but, at the end of the day, what’s really bothering you is the trance itself.

The past doesn’t exist anymore. It’s no longer real— it only lives on via the trance.

When we collapse and rewrite one memory that is pivotal to your negative trance state and subconscious programming, we’re changing what your brain is doing to you RIGHT NOW. This means other memories that have contributed to your problem may naturally collapse on their own without you having to work on them. And, if they don’t collapse, what is likely to happen is that their emotional intensity (on a scale of 0-10, how much does it bother you?), will naturally go down without you doing anything.

I never assume, though. We will check and we will be thorough.

Ideally, before your first session, you will give me a peace list of every bad event that you believe contributes to your problem, and we will make sure all of those memories are at a zero.

And for the big ones, we will change the stories within you so your internal identity aligns with your authentic self.

Ready?

Sign up for a free discovery call to talk to me about what you can expect. And remember, it’s up to you whether you want to share your story with me or not. Memory reconsolidation does not involve magic or hypnosis. It’s directed focus techniques–meaning I will tell you want to focus your attention on at pivotal points during the session. In short, we’re using your brain’s natural process of memory reconsolidation as leverage to manually update your mind.

I don’t need to know what’s happening inside of you. I just need you to notice what you notice. When you’ve got it, we get to work updating those rogue neurons.